


Deconstructing Wesley Mitchell

by asphaltcowgrrl



Category: Common Law
Genre: Demisexuality, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 17:25:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6248863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asphaltcowgrrl/pseuds/asphaltcowgrrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wes has always known he and Travis were close.  They were partners after all, it kind of came with the territory.  But when Wes' feelings start to become muddled, Travis surprisingly is the one to help guide him to drier land.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deconstructing Wesley Mitchell

**Author's Note:**

  * For [C8H7N3O2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/C8H7N3O2/gifts).



“You have any plans tonight?” 

Wes looked up at the sound of Travis’ voice.  “No,” he said, cautious.  “Why?”

Shrugging, Travis tapped the edge of his desk with a pen.  “It’s just conversation, Wes.  Try it sometime.”

“I don’t have time for conversation right now,” Wes grumped.  “I can’t find my –”

“Stapler?  Hand sanitizer,” Travis joked.  “Ooh, no, wait, you can’t find your gun in that disaster on your desk.”

Blowing out a harsh breath, Wes glared at his partner.  “Listen, I’ll have you know that –”

“Your desk is in perfect order,” Travis said, lightening the tone of his voice a touch.  “Yes, Wes, I know.  We all know.  It’s pristine and perfect and you couldn’t ever lose anything and yet, it looks like you have.”  He leaned back in his chair and grinned.

“I hate you,” Wes growled.

“No you don’t, you love me.”  Travis’ smile faltered for a half second before clicking solidly back in place.  “You just don’t always like me very much.”

Wes smiled despite himself.  “You’re learning, congratulations, Marks.”  With an agitated grunt, he returned his attention to his desk and continued shuffling papers. 

Travis squinted at Wes for a moment, watching.  “What did you lose that you’re so concerned about?  We can requisition you a new whatever it was.”

“No,” Wes said, shaking his head and moving his hands faster.  “It’s not something I can replace.  It was…”

“It’s what?”  Travis eyed Wes as he researched all the files he’d just gone through six times previously.  “Wes?”  When Wes didn’t stop his desperate searching, Travis came to stand beside his partner.  “Wes man,” Travis said, resting a hand on Wes’ shoulder, “relax.  We’ll find it.”

Stiffening at Travis’ touch, Wes shrugged the hand off his shoulder with an exaggerated motion.  “Don’t you have somewhere to be?  I’m sure there’s a female somewhere in the vicinity that you haven’t been intimate with.  I’ll find it on my own.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Travis stared at Wes.  “Fine, okay, whatever.  Keep looking, but some advice?  Stop searching the files you’ve already searched. Try the trash can or something.” 

He watched Travis stomp off, wondering if he’d been too harsh before reminding himself that he actually didn’t give a damn.  “Whatever,” he muttered, mimicking Marks’ intonation.  Then, remembering what Travis had said, he looked at the trash.  “I know I didn’t throw it away.  But…”

Pulling the metal canister out from under his desk, Wes rifled through the mounds of little pink slips that acted as message reminders, odds and ends from police life, and eventually, he found the sliver of green paper he’d been searching for.

“God damn him,” Wes said without any trace of heat.  “How did he know?”

 

“Today, we’re going to talk about the way things change once you get married,” Dr. Ryan said to the group. 

Groaning, Wes crossed his legs and immediately zoned out.  He and Travis weren’t dating or married, so this didn’t actually apply to them, no matter how hard Emma tried to make it work.  The problems between himself and his partner had nothing to do with intimacy issues and everything to do with respect.  But neither Dr. Ryan nor Captain Sutton could grasp that.  They both – along with the entire group of misfits in this room right now – believed that there was some sort of unresolved romantic conflict between them that needed resolution. 

Wes begged to differ. 

“Interesting observation, Rozelle,” Dr. Ryan said, nodding her head.  “Clyde?  Do you agree with this?”

Clyde tilted his head to the side and looked at his wife.  Rozelle was a beautiful woman, anyone could see that, but her personality rankled Wes sometimes.  She was strong, determined and opinionated, all good things in the right situations.  He had no doubt that no one – man or woman – would ever take advantage of this lady.  But she had yet to learn when and where these traits were put to best use. 

“What about yourself and Travis, Wes?  How have things changed since you moved out of the dating phase of your relationship and into the marriage portion?”

Snapping back into reality, Wes found himself lost.  “What was the question?”  Had she really just said what he thought he’d heard?

“Wes, you need to stay focused on the session or I’ll be forced to tell Captain Sutton that you’re not giving this a fair shake.”

Before he could respond to Dr. Ryan, Dakota came to his rescue.  “She wants to know how your relationship with Travis has changed now that you’re no longer newlyweds.”  Her soft brown eyes crinkled with amusement. 

Now this girl, he hadn’t wanted to like at all.  Too perky and happy, she was cute as a button and nearly as annoying sometimes.  But there was something in her that projected warmth and caring, and Wes found himself drawn to her, like it or not. 

“We’re not in a relationship,” he said, aggravated that he had to explain this to them again.

“No, but you are in a partnership,” Dr. Ryan replied, as predicted. 

“It’s not the same thing,” Wes insisted, feeling a bit deflated.  “Why don’t you guys understand this?  We never had a honeymoon phase or a dating phase or any of this.  What we had was a point in our partnership,” he put an intentional stress on the last word, “where we didn’t know each other very well.  Now?  Now we know more about each other than we do about our families or spouses or whatever and maybe we’ve discovered that we really don’t like each other that much.”  Or maybe our feelings for one another are too disproportionate that the other doesn’t notice the imbalance.   

Dakota licked her lips.  “You don’t really believe that, do you?  That you don’t like Travis?  Because I’m not buying it.”

“Gotta admit,” Travis said, speaking for the first time since group had started, “I’m rather interested to hear what you have to say about this, too.”

Hanging his head, Wes sighed.  He wasn’t sure how his mouth always managed to get him into so much trouble, but lately it didn’t seem like he could stop it either.  All he wanted was to be honest with himself and the group and to get them to stop projecting things onto his relationship with Marks.  Was that too much to ask?  “Travis, I didn’t mean it like that and you know it.”

“Mmhmm,” he murmured, standing.  “If you don’t mind, I think I’m going to let myself out of this session.”

Amazingly enough, Dr. Ryan let him leave.  Wes watched him exit through the double doors and shifted in his chair.  A sharp pain ripped through his chest, causing him to wince at its intensity.  The need to flee was suddenly strong. 

“Don’t even think about it,” Dr. Ryan warned.  “You are going to explain your point of view before you’re allowed to go anywhere.”

Rubbing his hands across his face, Wes resigned himself to the browbeating he was about to receive.  He was ticked that Travis had been allowed to storm off and yet he wasn’t able to express his own observations without being treated like a villain.  How was that fair?  And, more to the point, why did it hurt so much?

“Wes?”

“I don’t know what there is to explain other than what I’ve already said.”  He frowned for a second while trying to order his words into something that wasn’t going to offend everyone in the room.  “We work well together, despite what you are all thinking.  Travis and I might disagree – a lot – but we always get our guy in the end.  Isn’t that the important thing?  I don’t even know why we’re still here.”

“Because you pulled your gun on Travis,” Rozelle reminded him.

He trained his gaze on her.  “I did, I don’t deny that, but he and I both know why I did it.  I didn’t even shoot his arrogant ass, which I would have been in the right to do, under the circumstances.  He admits that he was acting irrationally and that I went to extremes to stop him.  So, I ask again:  why are we still here?”

The look Dr. Ryan was giving him suggested he knew exactly why they were still in this pint-sized group, playing at being a couple when they weren’t.  Her unspoken insinuation needled him and put him on the defensive.  Resolute, he glared back with what he hoped was an ‘I’m not buying what you’re selling’ look.  He and Marks were not a couple, they never would be a couple either.  End of story.

“I think that we’re done for the day,” Dr. Ryan said, breaking their eternal gaze.  “See you next week.”

 

The next morning, Travis had decided to keep his commentary short and it irked Wes for some unknown reason.  He and Marks were often at each other’s throats, but even at their angriest, they never really stopped talking.  After the third or fourth one-word response, he figured that closing the lines of communication would be for the best. 

It hurt Wes to shut his partner out, but with the way things had been going, it was his only option.  Either he pushed Travis away or he opened himself up for self-evaluation and that wasn’t a consideration right now.  Maybe if he pretended like Travis didn’t matter, he’d stop mattering so damn much.  It was a thought, even if it was a stupid thought. 

“Wes, you okay?” 

Travis had turned those brilliant blue eyes his way and Wes’ heart stopped.  It was something that was happening more and more lately, something he didn’t understand and it was beginning to frighten him.  He hadn’t had this sort of reaction to anyone in a long time, so why now?  Why Travis?  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You sure because you’ve been awfully quiet all day.”

There was something lingering in Travis’ words, something he couldn’t quite pinpoint, so he ignored it.  “You’ve not given me anything more than one or two word answers since you stormed out of therapy last night.  What’s there to be gossipy about?”  Wes hated being so rude, but Travis’ leaving had stung and until he figured out why, he wasn’t opening himself up to any more potential emotional damage. 

“You pissed me off last night,” Travis said, as if it explained everything.  Who knew, maybe it did. 

“Sorry,” Wes muttered, pulling further into his inner shell. 

 

“Why is it you’re always allowed to bail on me and if I even think about doing the same to you, I’m ridiculed?”  It had been two days since Travis had bolted out of therapy, leaving Wes to the wolves.  Despite their almost-talk about it the previous day, Wes still didn’t understand what had happened or what had provoked Travis enough that he’d walked out in a huff. 

“I only bailed on you because you were rude to me,” Travis said, shoving his desk drawer closed.

“How was I rude?”  Wes rested his fingertips along the edge of his desk, a slight tremor beginning to quake through his arms. 

“You said you didn’t like me,” Travis reminded him. 

“They think we’re a couple, Travis,” Wes defended.  “And not a working couple either, but a romantic couple.  Nothing we say or do will change the way they think about us and it’s uncomfortable for me to sit there, knowing they’re waiting for us to slip up and say something we shouldn’t.” 

The prospect of flubbing up and admitting his actual feelings for his partner terrified him, but he couldn’t tell anyone that, not even Dr. Ryan.  In police work, there wasn’t ever any room for emotions or emotional attachments, especially not with your partner.  It only made things worse that his partner was another man, and a handsome one at that.  Half the precinct wanted to date Travis, which only made Wes that much less likely to admit to his feelings.

Sometimes, he even confused himself.

“That doesn’t make any of this right, Wes,” Travis said, glaring at him. 

Point for Marks. “I know, and I’m sorry.”  He seemed to be saying that a lot lately. 

“You need to stop letting them – and by them, I mean the therapy group, Kendall, Kate, Amy, everyone – get under your skin.  You’re prickly enough, man.  It’s like working with a hedgehog some days.”

Wes fought the smile creeping onto his face and lost the battle.  “I’m not that bad am I?”

Travis shrugged.  “Sometimes, man.”  Reaching across the table, he took Wes’ pale hand into his darker one.  “But like a hedgehog, you’re much too cute to give up on.” 

“God damn you, Marks,” Wes grunted, yanking his hand out from under Travis’, “don’t do that.”  The earlier tremor he’d felt was threatening to become a full on convulsion. 

“Aw, see Amy?  I knew it was true.”

Glancing around for the source of the comment, Wes caught his fellow detectives, Kate and Amy, giggling like a couple of schoolgirls.  “You knew what was true?”

“That you two were an item,” Amy giggled.  “They’re adorable together, aren’t they?”

“They are indeed,” Kendall agreed.  Dropping a file onto Travis’ desk, she gave him a flirty little wink.  “Just don’t forget to invite us to the wedding, okay?”

Travis grinned back at her.  “Of course not, you three are first on the list.”

“Will.  You.  Guys.  Stop.  This.”  Wes could feel his face heating with embarrassment and frustration.  “We are not an item or a couple or anything more than two detectives working in a partnership.  Do you understand that?  Travis?”

“Man, you are such a stick in the mud,” Travis complained, rolling his eyes in the direction of the ladies. 

“And you make me want to break things,” Wes spat.  “Never mind, you four carry on. I’m going home.”

Grabbing his suit jacket, Wes slung it over an arm and stormed off towards the exit.  Halfway across the area reserved for robbery-homicide, he heard Kendall’s voice say, “Maybe you shouldn’t have teased him quite so much.”

“Pfft,” Kate laughed.  “He’ll get over it.  He always does.”

 

He let himself into his hotel room, locking the door behind him.  In an uncharacteristic moment of disorganization, Wes tossed his jacket onto the couch and kicked his shoes at the door.  His hands were shaking so much he was barely able to let himself inside as it was.  Attempting to hang his jacket or untie his shoes was beyond him.  Why did everyone he know have to push him over the line every day of his life?  It was exhausting, to say the least. 

Wes paced the living room, trying to walk off the feeling of need-to-run-and-hide before it overtook him.  If he were to be honest with himself, he knew he liked his partner.  Cared about him, even.  Although Travis could be draining, overall he was a good guy and an excellent detective.  It was when Marks thought he had all the answers and dove into the role of ‘most arrogant and obnoxious man on the planet’ that Wes wanted nothing to do with him. 

Sadly, that seemed to be Travis’ default state these days.

Shaking his hands as he walked, Wes forced himself to breathe.  It wouldn’t do to allow the panic attack to take over, to let it win.  Although, generally speaking, he had very little success when it came to staving the damn things off. 

For a while now, he’d been tempted to out himself to Travis, to let him know that their partnership meant something to him.  The act of actually telling Travis, however, was more anxiety-inducing than the scene he’d just been forced to sit through at the station.  And, if his current state of being were anything to go by, that had been an extremely stressful situation. 

Although he’d known he wasn’t like the other kids he’d grown up with, or the other adults he’d worked alongside, he hadn’t ever exactly been able to put his finger on exactly what made him so different.  It confused him how Travis could move from woman to woman to woman with such ease.  He never took the time to get to know any of them, which, in hindsight, was the reason none of his relationships ever lasted.  But that was Travis’ issue to work out, not his own.  Because Wes’ issue was the opposite.  Whenever he finally knew someone well enough to get attached, he had an extremely difficult time letting go.

See: Alex. 

He’d known for a long time that their marriage was over.  Hell, they’d been officially divorced for nearly two years now and he still had to remind himself not to call her his wife any longer.  Why was he so incapable of letting go of the people who meant something to him?

Wait, did that mean that Travis actually meant something to him?  Something more than the partner he already was?  Wes didn’t know and he wasn’t sure that thinking about it was going to do him any good. 

“It doesn’t matter,” he muttered to himself, continuing to pace the floor.  “It’s not like anyone can ever know.  Not in therapy and definitely not at the station.”  He’d seen too many partners split up over affairs, not to mention the baloney that the outed gay officers were subjected too.

But he wasn’t gay. 

Or, at least, he didn’t think he was.  God, he didn’t even know anymore.  Sometimes, when Travis would smile at him after making some stupid joke, he felt a distinct fluttering in his belly, one that was eerily reminiscent of the way Alex used to make him feel.     But did that mean he was attracted to Marks?  It was a stupid sort of question, or so he told himself, but it was one that he probably ought to take into consideration soon, before he went completely mad.

A knock on the door caused him to falter in his pacing.  Swallowing hard, he looked towards the entrance and debated answering it.  No one knew for sure he was here so…

“Wes,” Travis’ voice said through the wood.  “I know you’re in there, baby.  Let me in.”

Not what he needed right now.  Probably not something that he needed, ever.  Resigned to the fact that Travis wouldn’t stop pounding on the door until he answered, Wes forced his feet towards the front of his hotel room.  Reluctantly, Wes opened the door and peered out at his partner.  “Go away, Travis.  We’re off duty and I want to be alone.”

“No you don’t,” Travis said, pushing against the door until Wes relented and moved away.  “That little melt down you had at the station screamed ‘help me’.  Why you had it, I’m still not sure, but I’m not buying the idea you want to be alone right now.”

“Is there a reason why you aren’t able to take my words at face value?”  Wes shook his head and tried his best not to meet his partner’s gaze.  Those blue eyes of Marks’ seemed to have some kind of truth-serum embedded in their laser focus. 

“Because you’re lying to me, man.”  He reached out for Wes’ arm and the blond stepped back, clutching his arm to his stomach. 

 “I am not,” Wes lied. 

Travis laughed.  “Then explain to me why you’ve hardly said a word to me since that little incident in therapy the other night.  Not that you’ve ever been all that chatty, but these last few days you’ve been even less talkative than usual, and that’s not you.”

“Maybe it’s the new me,” Wes hedged, not sure if he wanted to admit to having withdrawn from his partner or not. 

“Oh no it’s not,” Travis scoffed.  “New you or not, there’s nothing that would keep you from calling me out on being wrong, buttercup.”

Maybe he was right, but maybe he was wrong, too.  It was hard to decide when the panic was sitting at the back of his throat just waiting to explode outward in a scream of rage.  “I’m really not in the mood for company, Travis.  Please.”

Ignoring Wes, Travis made himself at home on the couch.  Patting the cushion beside him, he beckoned Wes to come have a seat.  “Relax, Wes.  Come talk to me.  I wanna know what’s got you so off balance.”

For the first time it was really, truly clear to him.  Travis was the reason he was so off his game.  Although he knew Travis had had something to do with it all along, actually seeing Marks there on his couch made everything crystal clear.  Swallowing his fear, he looked Travis in the eye and said, “You.”

“What,” Travis choked out.  “Me?  How am I the reason for all of your weirdness?”

“I don’t know,” Wes whispered, collapsing onto the couch next to Travis.  Putting his head into his hands, he sighed. 

Travis rested a hand on Wes’ back, smoothing small circles into his skin.  Instinctively, Wes stilled at the touch, unsure how to react in the quiet of his hotel room.  Everything was so much clearer cut when they were in public. 

“Shh,” Travis murmured before Wes could speak, continuing to smooth his hand along the blond’s back.  “Relax.  It’s just me.”

And therein lay the problem.  It was just Travis.  So why the extreme reaction? When had his fraternal feelings for his fellow detective turned into whatever this was?  Not to mention when the hell did he start crushing on his very male partner?  “But I’m so confused.”

“About what?” 

“Honestly,” Wes asked, not expecting a response.  “Everything.”

“Well, that’s clear as mud,” Travis chuckled, slowing his hand and patting Wes’ shoulder.  “Care to elaborate?”

Wes turned his head to glare at Travis when the expression on his partner’s face stopped him cold.  There wasn’t any mocking in the smile Travis wore nor was there any judgement anywhere.  It was both refreshing and a little frightening.  Taking a deep breath, Wes let it out slowly, composing his thoughts.  “I don’t know where to start.”

“How about you begin with why the girls’ teasing upset you so much tonight.  Usually you’re able to ignore them or send a sharp barb or two back in retaliation.  Tonight though, man you just fled.”

“I don’t know,” he said.  Catching himself in the lie, Wes shook his head. “That’s not entirely true.  For some reason, the things they were saying bothered me.  Embarrassed me even.”

“They tease us about hooking up all the time, why does it suddenly ruffle your feathers, Big Bird?”

Wes frowned at him.  “Don’t call me that.  I can deal with most of your other pet names, but I draw the line at characters from Sesame Street.”

“Whatever you say, Oscar.” 

“What did I just say?”  Wes had to fight the smile that was attempting to take control of his mouth.

“Sorry,” Travis grinned, not an ounce of remorse in his tone.  “I couldn’t help it.  I mean, you left yourself wide open for that one.”

Travis did have a point, but he chose to ignore it in an effort to get this conversation over with so he could be alone to wallow in his misery.  “I’m not exactly sure why, but for some weird reason tonight their words stirred… feelings.”

“What kind of feelings?”  Travis’ hand had slid down from Wes’ shoulder and was now resting along the curve of his waist.  “Feelings for me, you mean?   Ones that aren’t homicidal?”

“I’d never murder you, Travis,” Wes assured him.  “Although the feelings are strong at times.”

“And?” 

“And I guess the answer is yes – they aroused some feelings for you in me.”

“No wonder you’re confused,” Travis said, leaning his head against Wes’.  “I didn’t think you were into guys.”

“Neither did I,” Wes said, a sad chuckle escaping with the words.  “Never in my life have I ever had anything other than brotherly affection for another man and then…”

“Then there’s me,” Travis finished.  His words lacked any of the arrogance and pride Wes had expected them to carry. 

“I’m not gay,” Wes said, voice quiet.  “And yet, I want to be with you, near you, all the time.”

“Hmm,” Travis said, fingers making a slow arc along the crest of Wes’ hip as he thought.  “Are you looking for companionship or cuddles?”

“Travis,” Wes said, suddenly angry.  “I’m being serious here.  This is why I don’t trust you with anything important.”

Iron fingers gripped his hip as he struggled to move away from Travis’ enticing body.  “Stop it, Wes,” Travis growled, tugging the more slightly built blond against his side.  “I was being serious too.  It’s a legitimate question.  Why do you want to be with me?  Are you lonely and looking for a friend or are you feeling something deeper and looking for an actual partner?  Companionship or cuddles, it isn’t all that hard.”

“It’s harder than you think,” Wes said.  “At first, I thought it was loneliness.  We spend more than half the day together most days so it only makes sense that I’d notice you weren’t there.  But then…”

Travis lifted an eyebrow.  “And then?”

Shrugging, Wes sighed.  “And then I couldn’t get you off my mind and it’s been making me crazy.  I’ve never dated a guy and haven’t ever really wanted to either.  So why you, why now?”

Marks pursed his lips and thought for a long moment, holding Wes against the side of his body.  “How long did you know Alex before you started dating?”

“What does that have to do with any of this?”  Wes held up a hand to keep Travis from answering.  It wasn’t a secret and it wasn’t something that was embarrassing either, so there was little to no harm in giving Marks the information.  “Three years.  We met in law school.”

“Were you friends first?”

“Yes, for a good two and a half years, why?” 

“Just a theory,” Travis said, removing his arm from Wes’ body and turning so he more fully faced his partner.  “Since you and Alex split up, have you been attracted to anyone?  Male or female?”

Wes shook his head.  “I haven’t had time.”

“I don’t think that’s actually the issue,” Travis said gently.  “Do you know what the term ‘demisexual’ means?”

Wes made a face. “I’ve never heard the word before,” he said, the first tendrils of anxiety starting to grab hold of him.  “What does it mean?”  He was half terrified that Travis was implying there was something wrong with him and half positive there really was something wrong with him. 

“Before I answer that, tell me how many girlfriends you had in high school.” 

“You’re starting to get awfully personal there, Marks,” Wes said, glaring at his partner.

“Hear me out, Wes.  For once, I’m not digging just to be nosy.”

“So you admit those other times were because you’re meddlesome?”

“Sometimes,” Travis laughed.  “But not this time.  How many?”

He crinkled his nose, worried that the truth would send Marks into a paroxysm of laughter.  “None.”

Travis blinked.  “Really?  Alex was your first?”

“And only,” Wes whispered.

“Well hell’s bells, Wes.  Now I get it.”  A large, dark hand landed on Wes’ shoulder and gave a firm squeeze.  “I shouldn’t have teased you so much about taking so long to get over her.  It all makes so much more sense now.”

“That’s a pretty good apology coming from you,” Wes deadpanned.  “So?  Is an explanation forthcoming or do I need to find my laptop and connect with my old friend, Google.”

“No need for Ye Olde Google,” Travis said.  “What it means is that you’re the kind of person who can only feel sexual attraction to someone you’ve bonded with emotionally.”

“Like Alex,” he said, trying it out.

“Like Alex,” Travis agreed.  “You were friends, you hung out and spent time together, more than likely talking and swapping childhood horror stories.”

And they had.  Granted, her stories were more fluffy and happy than his, even if his weren’t exactly horror stories.  No matter the content, they’d found common ground and had done exactly what Travis suggested – they’d bonded on an intimately emotional level.  Something occurred to Wes in that moment of clarity. 

“Have we bonded, Travis?”  It sounded stupid coming out of his mouth, but he’d been accused of being emotionally constipated on more than one occasion, so he felt the need to ask.    Wes figured it’d be easier to deal with some of Travis’ patented teasing rather than misread the situation and set himself up for something more seriously embarrassing. 

“I’d take a bullet for you, man,” Travis said without missing a beat.  “I’d say we have a bond.”

“I didn’t think you did ‘emotional’ though.”

Travis made a face that landed somewhere between disgusted and disbelieving.  “Not in casual relationships,” he said slowly.  “With women I know I won’t ever see again or I’m not sure I want to see again, definitely.  But others that I know I’m going to see every day or can’t get away from?  You can’t really avoid emotional in those situations.”

“So, you won’t get emotionally involved with the women you’re sleeping with, but you’re emotionally involved with me?”

Shrugging, Travis pointed at Wes.  “Are you saying you aren’t emotionally involved with me right now?  I swear we fight enough that I was positive there was some emotional entanglement there.”

Wes leaned back against the couch and digested Travis’ words.  He agreed that there was a bond between them, even an emotional one.  Last month when that idiot had come within inches of taking off the top of Travis’ head, Wes had been afraid for his partner.  Later, once he knew that Travis hadn’t suffered more than a few scratches escaping the bullet, he’d felt an intense relief.  So yeah, he cared, but was he attracted to Travis in that manner?  In a weird sort of way, what Marks was saying made complete and utter sense, and it even explained a lot of things he’d never quite understood about himself. 

“Okay, I get the demisexual part now and even agree with it to a point.  But I still don’t understand all the rest of this.  Am I still straight or am I something else?”

“More like you’re something more,” Travis said, rising from the couch and stretching the kinks out of his back.  “You got something to drink?”

The large bottle of thirty-year-old Scotch he had hidden in his cupboard was the first thing that came to mind, but that was out of the question.  He had too much to process to be indulging in something like that right now.  Maybe later, when Travis was gone, but not currently.  “I think there are a couple beers left from your last visit, but there’s also orange juice and some iced tea.  Take your pick.”

Nodding, Travis wandered into the kitchen and returned a few minutes later with a beer bottle in one hand and a wine glass full of orange juice in the other.  “I didn’t figure you’d want a beer right now,” he said, handing Wes the juice. 

“You were right,” he said, taking the drink.  “Explain how I am something more instead of just something else.”

“Something else kind of means that you are either a, b, or c.  Something more means that you might be a, b, or c, but you might also be more than that, too.  Like you might be a/b or a/c or another combination more complex than the others.”

“This is making my head hurt,” Wes griped.  “Can you be any less clear?”

“I’m just saying that your sexual identity isn’t as cut and dried as it once was.  Things change and our understanding deepens.  By that, all I mean is, you might not be sexually attracted to me at all.  It might just be romantic feelings that are stirring up and confusing you.  Just because you want to snuggle against me and watch a movie doesn’t mean we have to go to bed together.  Doesn’t even have to mean you want to, either.”

Talk about complicated.  “So you’re not going to push?”

“Of course not,” Travis said, sounding slightly offended.  “I might push you to pick something for lunch, but I’d never force you to choose on something like this.”

Wes nodded and smiled at Travis.  “Thank you. I’m not sure any of this has helped, but it has shed some light on certain things.”

“That’s a start,” Travis said.  “And speaking of cuddling, come here and relax a bit.  We can talk about this more later or, if you’re willing, go see Dr. Ryan.”

Rubbing a hand across his face, he took it all in.  “Okay, maybe I’ll ask Dr. Ryan’s opinion on all of this, but you can’t say a word to anyone.  I don’t know if I can handle answering questions or seeing disapproving faces right now.”

“Promise,” Travis agreed.  “Now, come over here.  I think I saw _Tombstone_ was on TV tonight.

Travis grabbed the remote and flipped the television on, surfing until he found the familiar faces of Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer.  Wes sat and watched the movie for a moment, sipping on his orange juice.  Finally deciding that he would indeed seek Dr. Ryan’s help on this matter, he reclined on the couch and rested his head tentatively on Travis’ shoulder.  With a practiced movement, Travis slid his arm so that Wes’ head lay on his chest, a burly arm securely wrapped under the blond. 

“Comfy,” Travis asked.

“Very,” Wes replied. 

“Good,” Travis said.  “Now do something you’ve never done before and watch the movie and enjoy it.  Historical inaccuracies and all.”

Wes smiled and focused back on the television. 

**Author's Note:**

> I have every intention of writing a follow-up to this, it just hasn't happened yet. Sadly, as of right now, I don't know when it will happen. 
> 
> Also, I did a lot of research before writing this, so if anything is inaccurate or comes off as insensitive or offensive, please let me know. Never is any offense ever intended in anything I write. Even when Travis is being a jerk. :)


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